Making Love Should Be Like Ordering Dinner

This will not be graphic.  I want to say that at the very start.

I was thinking about things on the way home the other night and for some reason I thought of this.  Being intimate with your partner should be like ordering dinner.  Let me explain.
When you have sex with your spouse, you need to be verbal.
I'm not talking about dirty talk.  I mean real speaking.  

Communication!

Imagine if you went out to dinner, you dressed up, you have been waiting for this dinner.  It is time to order and you know what you want, the waiter comes and you are silent.  Now this waiter has a job to do.  He is going to bring you food.  He knows you might not say anything but he will still bring you food because that is his job as your waiter.  He beings with bringing you soup.  You like soup.  You really do!  Not this soup though.  This soup is a broth and you much prefer a cream soup.  Maybe a nice potato soup.  Warm, creamy with potato chunks cooked with perfect seasonings mmmm...but this is a warm chicken broth with noodles, fresh veggies and herbs mmm...but it's not what you really wanted, but still, you taste a few spoonfuls as to not embarrass the waiter or to make him feel he's doing wrong.  Next comes lamb chops.  You don't like lamb chops.  "Lamb Chop's play a long where kids come to play along and fun things is all we ever...do..." and tears are welling up because you think of other times when you think of lamb chops.  Not good.  You didn't even want to look at it but the waiter thought you might still want it so it stays in front of you for a good five minutes before he takes it away.  Now, by this point you think that you should just end this dinner here and now but the waiter is counting on this.  He needs this table and you want this dinner.  You had expectation for this dinner, so the meal continues.  Dessert comes.  This waiter is no dumby so he brought you a no fail dessert.  It is chocolate cake.  Five layers.  Homemade icing.  Moist, from scratch, cake.  Oh so tasty!  Oh so tasty to some one who likes chocolate.  Sadly that does not include you.  Too sweet and leaves a taste in your mouth that you just can't explain.  Most people love chocolate and even more so when it's in cake form but you are one of the few who do not.  Not a satisfying dinner by any stretch.  This waiter was good and did his job as best he could working with what you gave him.  He met his ends and you...well, you left hungry.  Why?  Because you didn't tell him what you wanted.

"I would like potato soup."  Doesn't seem hard right?  Of course not.  Not in a restaurant, but in the bedroom?  It shouldn't be!  Why?  The person you are having sex with is your spouse, a person that knows you.  This person should make you feel comfortable when you are around them all the time.  Okay, maybe not all the time.  No marriage is perfect.  It's not meant to be.  Marriages take work, dedication and the ability to be able to over come ones pride and put another before themselves.  May seem like I am going off topic but NO!  You should feel comfortable with your spouse when you are having sex which means that you should be able to talk to them!

Tell Your Partner What You Want During Sex

• Use simple words; up, down, slower, faster, not so hard.  This is to start.  You can change the way you talk to each other as you become more comfortable about talking.
• Talk about your sex outside of sex.  Take some time to talk to each other about what each of you like or don't like.  This would also be the time to talk about things you would like to try.  This doesn't need to happen all in one session.  Take five or ten minutes to talk about what y'all both liked or didn't like last night.
• Be positive when you speak, not negative.  There are some words you should not use; bad, not, never mind, those negative words.  Also, not any words that reference to past relationships whether or not they were sexual ones.  This shouldn't need to be said but as humans we can forget the simplest things.
• Remember that you can laugh during sex, as long as you aren't laughing at each other in a mocking way.  Laughing about a fart noise y'all made or getting stuck in a move isn't a bad thing and that is something to talk about before sex to help each other.  
• Sex isn't a chore.  It doesn't have to be loaded with heated passion either.  Its to be enjoyed.  Simple.  

As a parent of two girls now, I know it can be hard to find time for sex but just like anything important in your life, you need to make time for it.  Schedule it if you need to.  If you have the money to, once a month, get a hotel room.  Doing this also means you don't have to clean up after.  You can shower and not worry about the laundry or even making the bed.  It become a micro vacation.  Something parents always need.  Why not?  If you can't afford to do that, get the kids out of the house!  If you have little ones, take them to a friend of yours' house to have them baby sit.  If you have older ones, send them to a friend's house over the weekend.  No matter how you do it, just do it!  And don't let too much time go by between each time you take with each other and remember to communicate all the time.